'a strong feeling that I was living my own life, which I had chosen for myself' // being a writer in New York // refried beans and basement parties // writing from necessity // Frank O’Hara
I’m really interested in how people think about their home – which for this purpose I’ll define as the place where you most feel that you ‘belong’ or the place that you feel most ‘belongs’ to you. It seems like you’ve travelled and moved around a lot, what are some of the different cities you’ve lived in? Out of those places, does one feel more like home to you than another, or does it change a lot? Or do you reject that idea altogether? What’s the ideal type of place that you’d like to live in?
The cities I have lived in are York, Liverpool, Montreal, Toronto and briefly Baltimore.
Currently I am living somewhere very rural.
In a couple of months, I will move again.
I don’t know if I have ever felt a sense of belonging anywhere, geographically.
I do remember a particular morning in bed, in Brooklyn, when I felt like I was in the right place.
But I think that we could probably have been anywhere.
I can remember being in the ocean at various points in my life, and feeling like I wanted to stay there.
I can remember a specific Saturday in Toronto, when I knew that I didn’t have plans to see anybody until the evening, and I went to this second-hand bookstore in Parkdale which is owned by this cute, old couple, and I bought a book that I had ordered online, literally the night before, because I didn’t want to wait for delivery. And then I went to buy groceries at the shitty Price Chopper close to my apartment (I would almost always just eat rice and about 4 vegetables and drink cheap wine from the lcbo), and it was winter and completely unremarkable from any other Saturday, except that I had a strong feeling that I was living my own life, which I had chosen for myself.
When I think about home, it’s more like little moments with particular people, rather than, for example, the place where I grew up or the places I went to school. And I take comfort in the fact that I can carry around the same book or the same songs on my ipod and read or listen to them anywhere in the world, and they’ll always be exactly the same, wherever I am.